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How normal is it that my two year old son wants to play dress up with his 4 year old sister?

I have two beautiful children. My daughter is is four and a half and my son will be three in a few months. My question is how normal is it that he wants to play princess (along with put on make up, watch barbie movies, ect) with myself & his big sister? Also, should I be letting him do these things? I am pretty sure that this is common with little boys and never have I tried to discourage his imagination. Recently my mother in law has began to make a huge deal out of this. She is a social worker and has taken parenting classes. Her and I butted heads again today about the dress up situation. She is telling me that him dressing up like this can cause gender confusion in the future. However, I don't think that it's right for me to stop my son from playing princesses or any other activity that makes him happy. I can't see myself taking a princess dress off him, watching his eyes fill up with tears, and him not understand why he can't play a game just because it's not what boys are supposed to do. I have also made an appointment with the pediatrician for some advice and reassurance. Does anyone have any advice? Please help me! Thanks =) He does have some male gender and gender neutral costumes that he plays with ... Spiderman ... Super Hero Cape just a lot of the time he wants to play princess with his sister (sometimes he's a Super Hero Princess lol)

Public Comments

1. i think its ok that he wants to do this now, hes only 2.
2. i think its normal he looks up to big sis and wants to do the things she does. don't discourage him but next time you are at the store and have a little extra money try looking for boy dress up clothes, firemen, policemen, construction worker... they do have them. he just wants to be included and be like big sis.
3. I have a set of girl/boy twins age 3. (along with two older sons) My son occasionally plays dress up and with dolls etc with his sister, but my daughter also plays cars, legos and loves to watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I certainly encourage the gender specific toys and traditional roles, however, they are CHILDREN and they learn by playing. It's funny to me how much our society interferes with the natural process of childhood out of fear. If it were me, I would turn a deaf ear to what your mother in law says and just take heart that you are doing the right thing. In the end, he'll be an amazing father someday. :)
4. Simply put ... how many villages does it take to raise an idiot? Your mother-in-law is simply suffering from a "What would the neighbors think" syndrome, exasperated by the fact that she's in a bleeding-heart position to do something about it. Your child is your child. Not your mother-in-law's child. Let him play, let him have his fun. He will grow out of it eventually. Just try not to encourage him to be open about running in around in a dress.
5. Oh my god! Your mother in law is a repressed, confused woman. Of course it's normal for him to want to play whatever his sister is playing. When my husband's oldest son was that age he wanted to be a princess for Halloween and he didn't even have a big sis. Now he is a basketball player and the best pitcher on his baseball team. It will cause more damage to force your son into a gender role he's too young to even understand. Let him play what he wants as long as he wants. Maybe he is the next Calvin Klein. Or Brett Favre. He is an innocent child and being insensitive to him will hurt him later in life, playing dress up will not! Tell your mil he is your child to raise she already raised a son and to please keep her judgements to herself!
6. let him dress up it will not hurt him if you make a thing of it he will have more problems it is only natural he follows his big sister he has learnt a lot by copying her probably talking walking etc so why not playing by the time he goes to school or nursery and playing with other boys he will be in to power rangers ,ben 10 and all the other violent boy things
7. it is normal dont worry , when my friends son jacob was 2 he would play " mummys " with his 6yr old sister Grace. When i went over my 7yr old played with them and he was often walking about pushing a pink buggy wearing a massive princess dress. Now he is almost 5 and his sister is 9 they are still very close but Jacob prefers football with his dad and being rough with his younger brother Alex who never played dressing up maybe its to do with the fact that both your son + jacob have older sisters dont worry im sure he;ll grow out of it if you are worried though you could say come over here and we can leave your sister to play and well do something funner like colouring in or playing with cars but personlly i wouldnt lol xx
8. it is perfectly normal, and its rally good for his imaginative development, also if you let him play like this without making anything out of it he will leanr not to make judgement on people when he is older he wont stereotype witch is great, dont listen to your mother-in-law! the parenting courses she has done are either made up or she didnt pay any attention because OFSTED state that children have to be treated as equals and if this means a little boy wanting to be a princess or a fairy then let it happen, he is learning and its a great way to help his development you sound lik you no what your talking about she may have a piece of paper that says she has knledge but she does not...it wont cause gender confution it will help him to understand it better if anything you do what you think is right you sound like a great mum, good luck hun x x x
9. I wouldn't discourage him from playing dress up because of his age, but maybe try encourage him to play dress up by being a prince instead of a princess, and I agree with the other suggestion of buying other dress up clothes that are suitable for boys AND girls. Halloween costumes are a great place to start, but they can be quite spendy. If you have any friends that have children that have outgrown their halloween costumes, I would suggest that or maybe even going to a 2nd hand store and washing the clothes before they wear them. He is definitely trying to be like big sister because he looks up to her, and it's a normal part of life for him to mimick things that he is seeing. Maybe even get your mother-in-law to help out picking up some outfits so she will get off your back.
10. Don't worry! I have a 2 1/2 year old who plays dress up all the time with his 5 year old sister. Do not listen to your mother in law he will be fine . I remember when i was little dressing my brother up i would have friends over and we would do his hair and make put dresses on him the whole works he turn out perfectly fine. Lots of sisters do that to brothers kids like to have fun and be creative. Back to your mother in law i know lots of people with degrees in parenting that dont know crap, mothers arent made by reading and going to college to learn about children and what is proper. Books cant teach you very much about parenting because evey child is different. Good mothers are understanding they are people who love their children take time to spend with thier children andthey let that child be creative and turn out to be an individual with there own thoughts not a child who feels they have to be the norm to be accepted. Childhood is the only time in a persons life where what the world thinks doesn't really matter when they hit about 10 it all about fitting in so my advice is like millions of mothers before you dont worry about it he will outgrow it when it make him uncomfortable let hime just enjoy life for awhile.Good luck and tell your mother in law they are you kids and you will raise them how you please. A mother intution is way better than a degree.
11. I wouldnt put much energy into worrying about this. Children like to do many different things especially what they see others doing. I think its harmless and a waste of time for your mother in law to get technial about. Remember you are his mother and you will always know whats right. What if your son discoverd one day that he is gay (like many parents children are). Would your mother in law see that as such a wrong thing and make a huge deal out of it. Which can be even harder for a child to have to deal with that reaction. Maybe get other dress up clothing as well that is also suitable for boys, like cowboy hats, boots, etc. for eg. It never hurts to get advice from a pediatrician or other professionals but always remember you are the mother and you know whats right.
12. Whatever, your mother in law needs to mind her own business. You should not let her tell you how to raise your kids, ya know. There is nothing wrong with him playing dress up. He loves being with his sister and playing together. I remember I was 13 and my cousin was 10 I would put make up on him and do his hair girly and he is fine and straight. Everything will be fine
13. This is totally fine, at that age he probably doesn't even understand the difference between girls and boys. I remember when my younger brother was that age he used to wear mums jewellery and heels and push around my toy stroller. Now he loves cars and trucks and all things boyish. I don't know any boys whos mother wouldn't be able to tell you a story about them dressing up as a girl or playing with dolls when they were younger. Edit: When I was younger I was obsessed with batman and had a lot of batman toys and even a costume. I also played with trucks. I had also had a LOT of barbies and dolls and other girlie toys as well.
14. Tell your mother in law to stop being homophobic. At 2 years old a child doesn't know the differences between the sexes. He is using his imagination. Leave the kid alone and let him PLAY.